I am forever caught between wanting to make this blog more personal and liking it just the way it is. I don’t know, I love reading blog’s that are based around a persons life and not just a load of reblogged photo’s. I just don’t know if I can do that here on Tumblr. I’ve tried Wordpress and I hated it and I just feel comfortable using Tumblr as my platform.
I guess I could try and post more personal stuff on here. See how it goes. Most of the time I’m happy with reblogging photo’s but sometimes I feel like I need to add a little bit more of myself to my blog.
“Please don’t go.”
But you are already gone.
A stranger.
Looking out at me from glass eyes.
The fire that burned died a long time ago,
for you.
All that is left are acrid ashes,
that tell the tale of what we used to be.
Nothing can be salvaged from you now.
The tin man, no heart.
You have gone,
a ghost in your place
And I am left alone.
With a single flame that still burns
so brightly
It sounds like such an interesting job!
I’ll get to work closely with Derby’s history and bring that to the public. Plus its 12-14k a year for 18.5 hours work which means I will be earning SO MUCH more than I am now. I’ll be able to save money for bigger things (such as care insurance, and towards a deposit for when me and Adam get a house) and also have money to spend on things I really want to buy.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that I get called for an interview because it is a great opportunity!
For some reason today at University it finally felt like everything clicked into place. Finally the reasons for me doing an English degree and how much enjoyment I get out of discussing books aligned. I have doubted myself in the past. Doubted whether I am actually clever enough to be at University, whether I can actually handle doing a degree that can be quite demanding. And in the past I have answered those questions with a resounding ‘no I am not clever enough’ and ‘no I can’t handle it’.
Well today those answers are different. I think it is all down to how much I am enjoying 19th Century Realism. The set texts (whilst dense) are interesting. I feel able to put forward my opinions and also feel that they are valid easily in lectures and for the first time I feel confident in approaching the assessments.
I feel intelligent and I am proud of myself. I don’t mean that in an arrogant way at all. I have been told by my parents so many times that I don’t realise how clever I am. But just lately I have begun to see that cleverness in myself and I think it’s something to celebrate.
Hermione Granger made it acceptable to be an intelligent girl and I am going to fully embrace my Hermione-ness.
It really does feel amazing to have that conviction in yourself.
Jesus it’s a good job I enjoy my degree!!
I feel like my head is going to explode and this is all just from one module!!
I have been on count down for this for so long and I can’t believe tomorrow I’ll actually be going.
How don’t really know how I’m going to react. Harry Potter has shaped my life, it is my life and being in the actual place the films were shot is going to be so overwhelming. I know there will be a few tears at some point because they have the ‘Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home’ quote there and every time I read or hear that I get so emotional.
Harry Potter has been part of my life since the age of 7 and on Monday I turn 21. I owe 14 years of my life to JKR and the HP series. I just know that it’s going to be one of the best days of my life.
Another friend of mine lost her boyfriend last year as well. They were only 20 years old. So young. I just can’t imagine what my friend is going through. The pain she must be feeling and the constant wave of realisation that he actually won’t be coming back. I feel sick just thinking about it. It’s just so unfair that people with their whole lives ahead of them should just have it snatched away from them so quickly. What his family must be going through doesn’t bare thinking about.
I don’t know what I’d do if Adam all of a sudden wasn’t here any more. To have someone as part of your life every day, someone who you love and see a future with be gone just like that is such a scary thought.
Makes you appreciate everything you have in your life just that little bit more.
